JonBenet Ramsey News...

6/18/11 R.I.P. Clarence Clemons. Damn... Why are all of the cool people kicking it?

6/12/11 It is a sad day for metal. R.I.P. Seth Putnam.

4/5/11 R.I.P. Scott Columbus. Fuck the world, hail and kill!

7/15/10 Yowza! JonBenet Ramsey wouldn't be JonBenet Ramsey without some kind of huge change in the line-up! Due to JonBenet Ramsey members trying to do something respectul with their lives the band had to part ways with Rachel Tension. Lame things like morality clauses can be a real pain in the ass when you are associated with a band like JonBenet Ramsey so instead of us trying to clean up our act we decided she should bow her head in shame and leave as we throw rocks and spit on her. (That was really no different than how the guys acted towards her while she was in the band.) However, we are now proud to announce that JonBenet Ramsey will be releasing a much higher quality music now that the band is female-free. Now Rachel Tension can join the other respected females of the world and do more useful things like getting abortions and having all holes crammed for financial gain on the cum-stained floor of a seedy warehouse somewhere in Van Nuys and/or Chatsworth. (Yes ladies, it was your fault that your father never cared. He really wanted a boy and got your open gaping hole instead.)

We understand that some fans would still like to see Rachel Tension so her and MaggotEater will continue working on the Habeas Corpus project and we can assure you that her vagina will be exploited just as much as it was before.

You may ask, "What would JonBenet Ramsey use to replace twat?".

The only original member alive next to MaggotEater, of course.

Vomit Spray is back in JonBenet Ramsey after a hiatus that dates back to 2002 and he is taking up bass responsibilities. He was around when D.J. Downey Syndro was brought into the band so in order for JonBenet Ramsey to say that they have the original line-up back they had to ditch Professor Rectum like one would a baby in the restroom garbage can at prom. (He was a Dago anyways. All those people do is eat red sauces and make children. Abortions do fuel the economy though...)

New music is being recorded at the moment.

Same sickness-different age.

10/31/09 JonBenet Ramsey would like to thank everyone for all of their support over the past decade. JonBenet Ramsey somehow lasted 10 years. The sad part is that we fully intend to do another 10 years. We just wish we could do another 10 with D.J. Downey Syndro. New JonBenet Ramsey tracks will be heard soon.

9/06/07 The site is in the process of being updated to include new members and just give it an overall facelift. For the past year JonBenet Ramsey has been forced to use a lower resolution version of their logo because the disc that contained the actual large file of the logo became corrupted. (Look at the logo above) In 1999 MaggotEater took a photo of a painting that someone he knew produced. He took a photograph of it, scanned the photograph, made the eyes white, drew a cheesy bloody pentagram, showed it to the girl who painted it, was informed by her that it was the most disgusting thing she has ever seen, and decided that would be the band's logo.

Since MagggotEater lost the photograph 5 years ago and he was unable to track down the girl or her painting (He really didn't like the girl so he even tried to get the painting without the girl being involved and it didn't work) JonBenet Ramsey guitarist Rachel Tension (Artist on the Vagina Split cover) stepped up to the plate and produced this:



The New Face Of JonBenet Ramsey.

MaggotEater, since he is so good at coloring, colored in the artwork and added the signature bloody pentagram.

The members of JonBenet Ramsey feel as though this is a more realistic logo than the last one. It shows a high amount of respect, care, sexiness, and it serves as an aphrodisiac if you drink a whole lot while viewing it.

In the coming weeks and/or months the site will be revamped using this logo, info on the new members of JonBenet Ramsey will be added, and more pictures of Rachel Tension will be added (Her photo page is the most visited on this site) to help people in their masturbatory needs.

6/03/07 D.J. Downey Syndro passed away last night. His passing was a huge blow to the organization and we thank him for being a true brother of metal for the past 8 years. D.J. was a founding member of the band and it will never be the same without him.

He was sick for for over a year and he left peacefully in his sleep. His sickness was the main reason why there haven't been any updates for almost 9 months. In December D.J. officially removed himself from the organization because he felt as though he could no longer be a funtioning member. When he left he chose his own replacement, a close friend named Johnny Jaundice who was in the second reincarnation of D.J.'s original band The Smoking Stones. Since December MaggotEater and Johnny Jaundice have been working things over and the JonBenet Ramsey sickness is still there. His position in the organization is greatly appreciated by everyone involved and since December Johnny Jaundice has cemeted his place as the permanent replacement for D.J. Downey Syndro. The whole organization looks forward to the experience of working with him from here on out.

D.J.'s passing has also encouraged ex JonBenet Ramsey guitarist Rachel Tension to rejoin the ranks of repulsion and she is now back in the band alongside Professor Rectum who replaced her.

D.J. Downey Syndro will be missed and we wish the best to his family in these hard times. While he is now gone, he has left behind his music which will live forever. MaggotEater and LATEX SOLAR BeeF Productions are planning to release D.J.'s other musical works which span back to the early 90's along with his solo record which was finished last summer, but he never got the chance to release it.

D.J. Downey Syndro was more than a man. He was metal.

We'll all miss you bro.